Kwesbaar vir kwartlewenskrisis

Click here to read my article on Litnet, Kwesbaar vir kwartlewenskrisis

Unacceptable Number Seventeen

My radio is tuned to Cape Talk 567, and yesterday I heard the presenter Kienno Kammies raving about the number seventeen. What could it be?

Seventeen magazine? Seventeen millimetres of rain? Seventeen puppies? Goodness knows!

But, his voice was agitated and he was speaking way too fast to be ranting about a girly magazine or wet puppies.

The revelation came quickly and angrily. Only 17 municipalities in South Africa have a clean audit for the financial year 2011-2012. This means that only 17 out of a whopping 278 municipalities have clean audits.

When you start crunching the numbers this means that only 6% of municipalities can do their math.

Business Day online reports that there was a total of R9.82 billion of irregular expenditure.  According to News24 it costs about R54 000 to build a house. This means that more than 180 000 houses could have been built with this money. Would that not make some dent in the housing deficit in this country?

Each time someone in a municipality flies first class instead of economy, they deny someone half-a-house.  Every rand spent, is a door, a window or a wall in someone’s house. Every rand unnecessarily spent is like spitting in the face of poverty.

But do we play this game with ourselves to make sense of this senseless spending of taxpayers’ money?

My dad always says, “If you don’t want to spend money, stay out of the shops.”

Those are wise words from my father, and they are true. When I have more money some Jolly Jammers and cappuccino sachets seem to sneak into my basket. When I have less money, stepping foot in a shop depresses me and therefore spend less.

Perhaps this is what should be happening. Give them less pocket money to buy those luxuries with. Every rand spent unnecessarily will be a rand deducted in the next financial year, from their salaries.

And, considering that salaries for auditors are advertised between R499 000 and R680 000, perhaps even higher, I’m sure they can afford to lose a few hundred thousand.

Should we applaud the 17 who managed to make the cut? 

No! They were just doing their job. 

A Little U.S.A is not far away

Photo: Dayne Nel

I have a strange affinity of the USA. I read in Stephen Fry in America, by the actor, journalist and prolific tweeter, Stephen Fry that he said that his other self, called Steve, is an American. He believes that if he was born in any other country than Britain, it would be the U.S.A.

In all honesty, I agree with him. I believe that the other half of me is running around somewhere in the U.S.A, drinking a Big Gulp and watching the Nate Berkus Show.

But, do we really have to create the U.S.A here on home soil?

My father has always proclaimed the amazingness of North America and after my first visit to the U.S, he felt like he had converted me to a new religion.

So, when I visited the U.S of A, I got daily updates from my father about what do. Drink a cheap mojito in Las Vegas, try the clam chowder in San Francisco and visit Universal Studios in L.A.

The messages came like those little strips of bible verses, one a day.

And now, having been to the land of McDonald’s and maple syrup, I see how the culture affecting our own.  

Earlier this year I went to Makro at Cape Gate to see what the fuss is about.

Photo: Dayne Nel

Before I go any further, I have something to confess.

I love buying stationary and packaging. Yes, packaging. Anything to pack another thing in: plastic bags, small holders and zipper bags for sandwiches.

Makro is my dream. Like a true American I took one of those large trollies, knowing that with my budget, I would never be able to fill it.

I glided between the isles and isles of glasses and Tupperware and dreamed about the day when the number of highlighters and glitter pens I buy is not limited to the amount of money I have in my account.

But, on my way past the gardening section I saw something that was strangely so, American.

I large man walking barefoot past the dustbins.

Photo: Dayne Nel

I remember my dad’s sermons about big Americans. I recall that before I left he told me: “Thou shalt not eat as much as an American.”

But, I’m not in America now, I’m in South Africa.

The man’s stomach was folding so far over his pants; it seems that it was probably holding up those same pants.

And then it dawned on me that the specials, the fake grass outside, the compulsory membership card and the fat man were all quintessentially American.

It seems that we are so happy to comply with another culture for the sake of a shopping experience.

Photo: Dayne Nel

But, South Africans more than ever need two-for-one specials and coupons. We have so many people living below the breadline that some excess would be great.

We don’t need the overweight man to buy chips in bulk, instead, we need the bulk to be shared.

Let’s leave the American way of buying sugary drinks and fatty foods to the Americans.

Let us head to the fruit isle instead, where nature’s bounty can perhaps be picked by all the citizens in our country.

Let us hope that everyone could know what it feels like to marvel at the humble pencil.  

And next time my dad and I reminisce about the good old U.S of A, I should perhaps direct him to Makro. Heaven is only 20 kilometres away.

Click on the link to be taken to the News24 website:
http://www.news24.com/MyNews24/A-little-USA-not-far-away-20130802

Liewe Teaterganger

Liewe teaterganger

Jy het gekies om 90 minute van jou lewe op sy te sit en ʼn toneelstuk te kom kyk. Ons, die ander gehoorlede, wil ook graag die vertoning kyk, daarom smeek ons jou om ʼn paar basiese reëls te oorweeg.

Tydens die afgelope feestyd het ek nie een vertoning bygewoon waar iemand se selfoon nie gelui het nie: alarms, BB’s, SMS’e, e-posse en oproepe. Sit jou selfoon af, want die liggie wat flikker pla ook, en kyk die vertoning.

Moet asseblief nie jou suigstokkie agter my kom suig nie. Moet asseblief ook nie die sherbet uit die suigstokkie uitsuig nie. Moet, wanner die suigstokkie op is, asseblief nie aan die stokkie begin suig tydens ʼn vertoning nie. Dis gross en dit freak my uit.

Wees ook asseblief betyds vir alle vertonings. Ek moes menigmale ʼn ekstra paar minute wag vir ʼn vertoning om te begin omdat jy nog jou sigarettetjie gerook het.

Fotograwe, daardie masjientjie wat jou verniet in ʼn vertoning inkry, is baie steurend. Die flitse gee my aanvalle en die klank van jou foto’tjies is steurend. Doen almal die guns en reël vooraf vir ʼn paar kiekies of doen iets met die settings op jou kamera.

Die ‘feessituasie’ in die land gee vir baie mense kans om toneelstukke te kyk, en daaroor is ek inniglik bly.

Sit jou bier weg, jou selfoon af en wees betyds. Dis net goeie maniere.

US Woordfees Orion se belt

Annemarie Hattingh, Brian Robson en Elizna Vermeulen

Orion se belt laat gehore skaterlag by Woordfees.

Stellenbosch, Aan de Braak Teater-Kroeg

Regie: Frans Hamman

Die klein produksie met Elizna Vermeulen, Annemarie Hattingh en Brian Robson het vermaak.

Die kabaret is op liefdes-realiteitsprogramme baseer en volg Orion op sy pad na liefde. Orion moet kies tussen twee meisies. Die een, Mariska (gespeel deur Hattingh) en die ander Anneline (Vermeulen).

Altwee keuses het hul  eienaardighede wat gehore vermaak.

Annemarie Hattingh en Brian Robson

Die produksie spog met ʼn oorspronklike nuwe teks wat vir die hele familie gepas is. Die skerp kommentaar op vandag se verwagting van liefde, wat baseer is op realiteitsprogramme is, is verfrissend .

Programme wat onder die kollig kom sluit in: The Bachelor, Extreme Makeover en Masterchef.

Die tegniese besorging, behartig deur Johan de Jager, dra ook grootliks by tot die produksie. 

Die lang monoloë kan soms langdradig raak en tussentonele kan gladder verloop.

Elizna Vermeulen

Die spanwerk onder geselskap is tasbaar en die wending aan die einde is onverwags.

Die produksie kan deur die hele familie geniet word, maar spreek spesifiek tot ʼn jonger teikenmark.

Cardenio Controversy

This year is particularly exciting at Maynardville Open Air Theatre, because there will be two plays running concurrently throughout the summer season.  Cardenio opened 12 January 2013 to an almost packed audience and a perfect summer evening.

Recently the Cape Times published a review by Tracey Saunders (15 January 2013) that described Dorotea’s rape scene as an “almost throw-away treatment” and that it “made the production very disturbing”.

While the rape of Dorotea may read to Saunders as callous and thoughtless, my interpretation of that scene differs vastly.

The ambiguity between the violent, yet consenting nature of that scene resonates with the themes within the play.

Roy Sargeant has also almost brilliantly juxtaposed the revelry of the festivities within the court with the intimacy of that sexual act. If anything, I would argue that the revelry could have been more raucous and festive.

While Saunders also argues that the socio-political themes within the production could have been explored more, I appreciated the straightforward portrayal of the story-line (being unfamiliar with it myself).  

In many instances themes are forced, almost stuck onto a production, like a child with a bottle of wood glue and paper, and consequently the essence and wonderful Shakespearean subtleties of the production get lost.

Sandra Young mentioned that “Roy Sargeant offered us little to help us reflect on the deeply disturbing undercurrent of violence inflicted on those in positions of disempowerment”.

Melanie Judge (Cape Times 17 January 2013), who had not yet seen the production, also commented that the scenes were “hugely problematic”.

I would argue that in this case, Sargeant dealt with the intricate nature of the themes in a thought provoking way. As an audience member I left the theatre contemplating those controversial scenes as well as the way that many women return to their abusers.

So then the question at the heart of the production remains: Was it really rape?   

The interpretation should be left up to the audience.